The Unpredictable Permutation, Snowballing Conversations and White Flags

I could think of a thousand permutations of events that could have transpired that night.

But most certainly, none of it included having that closure talk with you. It was long overdue, but that does not necessarily come with the precedent that I ever expected it to happen.

If anything, I have rendered it impossible already. It’s just that we've walked far too long down our own paths – that I never could have foreseen that fork in the road that will indefinitely lead us to having that conversation. But there it was anyway - during an ungodly hour: a knock from the past, an unexpected call.

The conversation was quick to evolve; from awkward and unsure, to calculated and careful, until it started to remind me of of how it was like to bust my guts over the exaggerated humor (which brings out that annoying "gentleman" laugh of yours) our seamless conversations were always made of back when we used to be best friends. You see, even after all the shitty things that had to happen, it caught me by surprise how easy it was to talk to you after all this time. You still get me, and I still get you. There's still that amazing intellectual understanding between us.  And how even if you were much likely a blur up until the moment you called, the memories were quick to unfold. And that's when I realized: you can never completely erase anyone; there will always be remnants of them that will indefinitely latch on to your subconscious.

"This is nice, we get to just laugh about all those things that happened in the past," you said. I could not have agreed more.

I will not deny that you occupied quite a large fraction in my life because you really did - and without fail, you taught me so much. After you, I was never the same again. My favorite lesson would have to be how pride should never be a part of the equation when you're in a relationship. Pride breeds hostility, and it does nothing good for anybody.

I'm glad you made that split second decision to call me out of the blue and that we patched things up once and for all. Thank you. You changed a great deal, and might I say, it's the good kind.