This is the problem.

I used to think of you as someone who would never hurt me, ever.
And now I just can’t stop picturing you with her, I can’t.
It doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do.
It’s just changed, everything. Forever.

Sure you get over it sometime, but forgetting is not an option here. The thought just blows up in your face and you're forced to stare at it through and through, reliving details you clearly do not want to revisit. For a moment you kinda wonder, once the dust settles, what happens then? Will I persist on fighting for us as I always have, or will I put my weapons down for good?


"But my efforts, don't you see them?" Yes I do. Don't mistake me for being ungrateful. But too much has happened; and despite all your herculean efforts to undo what has been done, this is not earthly possible. It's like putting bandage over a wound; it's a temporary fix, but there's no denying the ugly that exists underneath it.


Time heals, so  they say. And it feels as if I've gone through ice ages, the jurassic era and years worth of the Charles Darwin Theory- huge lapses of time. Yet it still hurts like a bitch.